Wednesday, July 10, 2019
Tuesday, July 9, 2019
Editor ~ Abelard Larthe Earthday Issue #3, 576
Giant Crocodile Hunts Sport
Reports have been coming in from berry pickers for Ryan Kirtap at the Blue Frog Brewery that a giant crocodile is hunting berry pickers in the Hool Marshes. While no one has been taken yet, there have been several narrow escapes. Losses among guardian beasts have been high.
Bear tracks in Saltmarsh
Citizens are alarmed at the appearance of bear tracks inside the Saltmarsh precinct.
Saltmarsh’s normally stalwart Guards are more alarmed with the fact that these tracks are located around the buildings that serve as their barracks.
Investigations are ongoing and troubling.
A fascinating pamphlet has hit the local markets and is being peddled to the less than wise proving the non-existence of the very pamphlet that expresses the very nature of the subject. Kalmah a Druid of seedy and dubious patronage is a known proponent of the philosophy in this dodgy parchment, which while well written and presents as an academic text its very premise is clearly circular and fallacious. Kalmah has been seen around Saltmarsh quoting sections of the texts to any passerby not quick enough to dodge his crazed enthusiasm. The author whose identity was read it only is known as A Blessed Feline is making a fortune in royalties from this scam.
|Highlight Article : A Blessed Cat|
Flower Thief Arrested
The vandal who stole the flowers from widow Rowland has been found and arrested by the local militia.
“It was thanks to the goodwill of strangers and a magical cat that we were able to arrest this lowlife, who sadly had wormed his way into the very heart of our society,” Councillor Gellan Primewater told the editor over a very cheap lunch at the Empty Net. “Thanks to the anonymous tip from these upstanding persons the guards overcame the individual known as Salt Bae during a daring night raid as the criminal slept off the affects of a nights heavy drinking. It was our guard showing its finest display of ethical performance and bravery. Councillor Primewater commended Corporal Augh Astorio for his demonstration in applying the Saltmarsh Steelcap for fellow squad members to see on the prone, bound and hapless villain.”
Citizens will know with some trepidation the skill Corporal Augh has with his steelcap boots, so I think no more needs be dwelt on as to this brutal application of swift justice – to a victim who clearly deserved it we can all concur. Remember people Widow Rowland is a much loved member of this community of Saltmarsh, her son’s murderer has yet to be brought to justice. At least some small justice is served by arresting the flower thief.
|Highlight Article : Goodwill from a stranger who wished to be anonymous?|
Festival of Tossers
The annual Toss and Swim Races is due to start in less than a week. This bracing event involves a two part celebration. The first is an act of remembrance for those who have lost loved ones at sea - many chose this time to take the jump to commemorate those they have lost. For others it’s a chance to earn cash and unwind during the last touches of winters chill. So people anticipate the Festival of Tossers.
Terms and Conditions:
Entry: 1sp (for pair of entrants)
Entry must consist of a thrower (may not be mechanical or magical or assisted) and a thrown entrant.
A thrower will throw the thrown as far from cliffs as possible, earning the best score for distance. The thrown then must swim back to the base of the cliff as quickly as possible.
Entries are timed and judged on distance with the winner announced at the nights Festival of Tossers held at the Leap.
Prize pot this year is 100 gold and a free tankard of ale each week from the Blue Frog Brewery.
Lizardfolk on the Move
Last night Bill Sandbody while crossing the Sharkfin Bridge swore he saw several of the Lizardfolk swimming upriver.
“I had not been drinking,” belched the inebriated Halfling who needed to be propped up to report his findings to the night watch who found him retching (he said in terror) over the bridge walls.
“I saw them following a winged dragon the size of a duck.”
How much truth can be found in the words of a drunk is yet to be known. The Hool Marshes is known to house a population of Lizardfolk and if they are on the move then it does not bode well for Saltmarsh. Report any sightings of these beings to the council with undue haste.
Amnon Mansion Haunted
The alchemist home on the lonely and desolate cliffs to the east of Saltmarsh are proving to be a thorn in the side of several adventuring bands. The smuggler smashers reported the unearthly activities in the mansion to the council when they returned with the Sea Ghost and stolen merchandise.
A reputable band of adventurers were then sent to investigate. Sadly they lacked the intellect and guidance of their leader who had come down with bad case of food poisoning. The result was they too had to leave the mansion confused and perplexed as to solving the mansions haunting.
Will they return to solve the mystery? The editor asked Hudson Millblood a junior member of the band as he was seen buying large quantities of flammable siege oil “yes,” was his reply, “I have a burning desire to light a match in the darkness and let the flame of ignorance be burned away – revealing only the truth of the matter.”
It is hoped that his zealousness does not set Saltmarsh aflame with enthusiasm.
There Can Only Be ONE
There has been some confusion in Saltmarsh with competing adventuring bands heralding champions with the audacious name of Glug. As there can only truly be ONE Glug in any multiverse strong enough to survive, the wisest individual chose to change their name by deed poll. Rising from the ashes of the fire-fighting, nay to the rumour contrary to hearsay, comes Kod, Slayer of Fish Dresdon!
The other Glug, known as Boarnog can be found passed out and fleeced of any items of worth in any establishment willing to risk its clientele, merchandise, staff and surroundings.
A petition has been delivered to Ferrin Kastilar the melancholy druid who keeps the Sea Grove of Obad-Hai complaining of the increased amphibians in the village precincts. Kastilar actually flew into a rage at this petition and entangled the petitioners in vines and set fire to their petition.
Long time acquaintances of Kastilar are concerned at the druid’s odd behaviour in reaction to people’s hatred to his beloved amphibians.
Editorial Dating Issues
Due to the erroneous problems of keeping track of the many exciting events happening around Saltmarsh the harried and forgetful editor has come across an issue (ha ha I made a pun) with the dating system used. To rectify this simple and erroneous exigency the Sentinel will now be simply numbered.
|Highlight Article : The impressions of a slightly mad editor?|
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
The artwork provided in this issue is supplied by Mic of DZY Art n Comics - @artbydzynes. Mic plays Mikas Blakflag the ranger with his panther companion Dimebagheera. This excludes lighthouse picture which was sourced from Pinterest.