Saturday, March 27, 2010

Stone Fever Event - Som'er Teeth Jones

March 2010
The Story So Far...The fetid gas of rotting vegetation belched upwards as Som’er Teeth Jones stamped his foot in agitation. He was in a foul temper, and his gut was rumbling worse than ever. His gut rumbling was a good thing; you could never have an abundance of gas. It was great for killing bugs and unwanted pests, even those pesky invaders from another world succumbed to his bouts of flatulence.
“Obidiah!” he shouted. “Where is ya, ya lazy pig fondler!”
“Shut ya cake hole boss, I’s here!” exclaimed Obidiah petulantly. “Ya ain’t able to see beyond dat dang seegar ya smoke, oh corpulent one.”
“Dat’s enouf cheek from you Obi. Are the boys here, or did day get lost leaving the farm. I kin see Jeb, Reb, Zeb and Heb. Where’s Big Bess?”
“Ya aight Bess last night, oh hungry one. All I could scrounge up was a couple of her piglets,” retored Obidiah. The distress over the loss of his prize pig still smarted. Yet he had a full belly, and it wouldn’t take long to train up some of these piglets he thought.
Life was good here in the bayou. But why the boss wanted these glowing stones for he couldn’t fathom. You can’t eat them he thought, and if anything they were bad luck as far as he was concerned. Everything seemed to want them and if you had them, then you could guarantee it that something was going to get them off you.
“C’mon you lazy sods, get over here now. I’s a plan, and it’s a cunning one,” bellowed Som’er.
Som’er had been hatching a scheme to take advantage of these here stones that everything was after. He had to admit it, he couldn’t understand the fascination things had for them, but he was only now beginning to work out how he could use them. Somewhere in his piggy little mind there was a tiny part of him that could tap the stone. He couldn’t do it all the time, but when he could it really changed the playing field.
It gave him a shock that day. He was lying under a willow, feeling hungry when a mosquito buzzed into sight. He thought, that’s a big one, it’d go a good way to curbing his hunger. Yet he couldn’t muster the strength to get up, so he just let his mind wander. He’d forgotten he had a lump of stone he’d taken from that human who’d lost his way in the swamp. It was a shock when his mind touched the mosquito, and it came towards him, almost as big a shock at the sudden hotness in his britches. As he sat there munching on the mosquito, he started to ponder the significance of the stone.
It had taken him months to work it all out. He could now master the mind of pigs, mosquitoes and even more gratifyingly was his ability to tap into the mind of any of his Gremlin kin as was in range. It was brilliant, it meant that he could continue to be lazy, smoke his fancy cigars and bully everything in the Bayou within his reach. Well almost everything, just the thought of the Hag sent shivers down his back, and he instinctively listened for frogs.
“Right now you lot, listen very carefully as I’m only going to say this once.”
“What are you going to only say once Boss?” asked the nearest Gremlin.
“Sod it, shut your flapper Zeb,” was Som’er’s angry cry to the interrupting Gremlin. But before he could continue with his plan the Gremlin next to the one who had spoken said, “I’m Zeb, that’s Reb.” The Gemlin incorrectly named Reb now pointed out in turn his mate and said “No, I’m Heb, he’s Reb.”
“Look I don’t care who any of you are! Listen to me now or it’s the pot for the lot!” exclaimed Som’er as his hefted his boomer for all to see.
Silence was immediate.
“Right, now dat I got your undivided attention,” all eyes tracked the boomer as Som’er waved it about. All the Gremlins had a sixth sense and were preparing themselves to duck if it looked like it was going to go off. “This is the plan. “ Som’er continued, as if there was no interruption. “There’s a stack of boxes out there with our name on them.”
“Who’s name? Mine?” said the excited Gremlin named Heb. It was the last thing that he ever said.
BOOM!!! Som’er’s boomer went off, a startled Heb was caught squarely in the chest. The result was a quartering, as arms and legs blew off in different directions. Stunned silence reigned.
“As I was saying,” continued Som’er as he reloaded his weapon. “We are going to take these boxes and use them. I have a plan, and it’s a cunning one!”

Som’er Teeth Jones = Free
Soul Stone Cache (bought) = 5ss
4 x Giant Mosquito (Companion) @ 2ss = 8ss
4 x Bayou Gremlin @ 2ss = 8ss
1 x Hog Whisperer @ 5ss = 5ss
3 x Piglet @ 3ss = 9ss
Total Cost 35ss

Player Name: John McDonnell

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