The Fabricated Tales
+++Start Personal Encrypted Journal+++
Life aboard the Inquisitorial ship has been strained and not at all pleasant. The helpfulness from the crew has been less than forthcoming; it has only been the intervention from Lord Reximus that has permitted me access to supplies and essential materials needed to perform my much needed repairs and recuperation.
After the second day of resistance from the Inquisition I approached Lord Reximus and requested the warp capable vessel found onboard Tear of Lost Dreams. After some negotiation it was agreed upon and the vessel was surrendered into my care. I then spent the remaining time refitting the enginerium and bridge and installed ANGUS the duplicate ships spirit from the Tear of Lost Dreams. This process went well and ANGUS is very pleased with its new form, while still bellicose and tetchy it is nonetheless excited with the new profile it has. The new Astropath I have been assigned to this vessel has proven acceptable, and certainly the safeguards I have implanted will ensure my and the ships safety. I have named the vessel “Cogito Ergo Sum” (I think, therefore I am).
Well apart from the new toy I have at me and my crew’s disposal what else have I been up to? Well the Jokaero Data has been housed into my physical frame, I’m not leaving that lying around for some deviant Mechanicus heretic to get their hands on and burn it in a fit of righteous blindness. FELIX occasionally leaves my side these days (much like a cat) and the Jokaero Orb has developed a sense of independence and will spend its “off” time playing with it. Often I will come into my personal quarters and find FELIX swatting the Orb across the floor only for it to then shoot into the air with FELIX then leaping up after it - literally playing cat and mouse.
The “humanisation” of Francine is more frightening in many respects. The machine spirit has outgrown its original programming parameters and it or I am almost going to have to start to have to refer to it as she in due course. The transmogrification that started on the Tear of Lost Dreams does not seem to have stopped. My investigation does not show signs of the warp but of some dark-age nanotechnology which was a byproduct of the warp virus. The machine aspect of her frame is slowly being subsumed by an organic feminine look, though standing at 2 meters tall Francine is certainly not a normal female. She continues to demonstrate extreme affection towards me, as well as jealousy towards any who attempt to steal my affection. She tolerates ANGUS as it is in the ship, FELIX she sees as a pet and will spend time playing with it. LUTHOR she has no opinion on, though if it should become mobile like herself then an issue may arise.
My other project while resting was dealing with the insidious nature of the warp and its affect on the mind. As my mind is mostly machine cortex and processing units I accessed the machine shops and the Fleets Techsorcists. Reflecting the need to be able to research, study and understand the nature of the warp and its affect on technology I had to be able to quarantine this sometime deadly material and its affects from my mind and systems. After consulting with the (surly) Fleet Techsorcists I accessed the special electronic wards needed to be put in place to resist the effects of corruption of Chaos-infested machine spirits. I also found the schematics required for storing proscribed documents including the protocols for wiping and erasure if removed or death of …. well myself.
My other job was scouring my core of any other hidden worms left behind by the Inquisition. I had ANGUS and Francine assist me is monitoring this process, ensuring that the job was done without any complicity (unconsciously) on my part. I’m pleased to say that the results were positive, with my systems now showing no more Inquisition interference – I am my own man now! Or Universe help the individual if this is not the case.
The Warp entity S.I.M.O.N. felt a shudder ripple down its non-existent form. Some where, some when, its life had just been very seriously threatened. Not lightly, but with such conviction that the very fabric of the warp had felt the oath take form. S.I.M.O.N. wondered what play thing he had tampered with this time? Oh well, there were always others to takes their place… why was it sweating? It did not sweat!
All the communications I sent to Lady B’s father had been sent and received. It will be entertaining to see what he thinks about the tryst between her and the cross dressing Elsie. I do hope the ultrasound pictures of the daemon baby she’s “carrying” will brighten his day. The news of a royal wedding will bring such joy to the dismal mutant planet. Of course personally I’d like to just declare the planet excommunicatus and virus bomb it, but considering its location the sudden appearance of a daemon planet would not be in the Imperium’s best interest. Sterilisation is the safest option, slow but at least the daemonic incursion will not be that likely.
Horst has been enjoying the combat and gun range I have had installed on the ship. I have even had to set up a small manufactorum and repair bay for combat servitors as he has been dispatching them with ever increasing efficiency.
As ever, I am always concerned about my continued existence. Should I ever lose the protection of Lord Reximus I need to be able to flee with some level of success. I think I can do this now with the resource Lord Reximus has provided me.
Now I have to see what tomorrow brings me…
+++End Personal Encrypted Journal+++
+++Game Based Information+++
NEW TALENT: MECHANDENDRITE USE (TECHSORCIST)
The Techsorcist has chosen to alter one of his mechandendrites to assist in his duties. This mechandrite has special electronic wards put in place to resist the effects of corruption from Chaos-infested machine spirits. It also houses a small memory unit for storing proscribed documents and is set to automatically wipe itself upon removal of the mechandendrite or the death of the Techsorcists. When using a mechadendrite the Techsorcist gains a +10 to Forbidden Lore (Tech-Heresy) rolls, and a +10 to all Tech-Use Tests when interfacing with a corrupted machine spirit.
Dark Heresy, Daemon Hunter, A Guide to The Ordo Malleus, P59
Well Lady B got whiff of my communications with daddy dearest and this is what I observed… (she doesn’t know yet that I have implanted a very cunning nano-device that records her neural thoughts and passes them to me through the many vox and machine spirits that surround her. There is literally nowhere she can go that I do not know what she thinks and feels – to be honest it’s sickening. After watching this bit of entertainment I intend to purge this experiment… maybe)
That pig rooting, metal rotating swizzle stick of a arrrgggg…. I continue to fly of the handle, screaming such profanities to make even a space trucker blush (must ask the crew what a trucker is). The first of a fuselage messages from the planet start to bombard me from daddy dearest. “It is true what great Opifex Magus Tempus Ēmeritus (bless his soul) has reported. Reply at once.” +++short lapse of time (3 seconds)+++ “Why have you not responded.” “Opifex Magus (bless his soul) has informed me you carry a dragonkin child! Do you know the shame you bring on this family! Reply at once!” “Opifex Magus (bless his soul) tells me the father is that common trash from the forest, not only that that but he’s a she! No wonder it’s a dragonkin. Return to the planet at once!” I grab the first poor soul who admitted to being able to fly a shuttle and literally fly to the ship flight bay. I have abandoned all secrecy of my growing psychic powers as I enter the flight bay and select the closet lander. Mind you I have to ferret around in the poor creatures mind to find the information, not to sure how much damage I may have done in the process. On entering the chosen vessel I mentally pick him up and throw him into the pilot seat with me in close in pursuit with just a few growls of "get me to the surface of my capital now! Resist and i will enjoy liquifying your brain and then siphon it out of your ear". Maybe the already stupefied look on his face should have been a warning that his brain may already have been on its way to being liquefied but I wasn’t thinking to straight at this point in time. Turning my helm to broadcast I spoke "Lady Bellashandra, leaving for emergency meeting with my father. I expect no interference and will return when done!" In a spiteful urge I focused all my rage at Alpha (all praise him – wait why did I say that, wait, no damn it… that’s not what I wanted to say curse it all…) and willed him pain, lots of pain. I don’t know if anything happened I exhausted from my burst of psyhic activity so I may not have had much left to done anything. My mind is starting to reel through all she would have to endure once she reaches the planet. The places where her old scars were even started to itch as if the nerves were readying themselves for what father may bring on her. That bloody metal/bio freak will pay dearly if it came to that. Nothing will be the same if it happens, her life may be even forfeit. But he shall die in agony and be torn asunder never to be returned in any form of life. But he had the protection of Lord Reximus, she would have to be careful if she plotted against him. Her musings were interrupted by the slurred voice of the dying pilot “landing.. site.. coming into.. range M'lady”, snapping out of her red film of death, she started to regain composure ready to meet her father. The crash landing was one that you can say was at least one you could walk away from, she hoped someone would come and get her. With a sense of perverse humour she said to the dead pilot “you shall wait for my return pilot, you are not to move from this spot till I say so, do you understand?” While the dead could not speak the landers machine spirit replied with a static or stammered yes as she left the cockpit....... (was it her imagination that the voice sounded so much like Alpharius?)
+++End Journal Update+++
+++Start of Updated Supplemental Journal+++
A deep low cackle is heard emitting from the speaker system only some words are decipherable.
####€€€ mutant ####### will pay dearly for ######% I will devote your worthless sss### be a fraud mortal #### your pathetic disguise won’t stop me I know ##%#%% I will capture you and %%%##} you ###%###
Well I immediately put my lower brain function to work while cleaning the bog and let it decide what the background message was. I do enjoy a word puzzle left by S.I.M.O.N.
Let’s start with ####€€€ - 7 letters for something mutant? Okay crappie seems to be the logical word association with this.
Next is ####### - 7 letters for something after mentioning a mutant? Clearly scumbag, for what else can a mutant be. After all I know a few and scumbag is the best description for them.
Right going good so far – first bit deciphered! Crappie mutant scumbag will pay dearly for
Okay next is ######% - 7 letters for a word to pay dearly for maybe? Expense? Mutants certainly rack up expenses and debts everywhere they go, sounds logical.
I will devote your worthless sss### - 6 letter word this time for worthless? Refuse/Trashy/Crummy good choice either of them.
Be a fraud (I’m thinking the translation module stuffed up here and that it should be “be afraid”) mortal ####
Ah #### is an easy 4 letter word meaning shit!
Your pathetic disguise won’t stop me I know ##%#%%
Hmm a 6 letter word this time, oddly enough “bugger all” won’t fit in! Let me think on this one…
Got it Avatar I will capture you and %%%##} (oh dear that is rather impolite)
6 letter word for fornicate off? Shazam, really that came up with a 48% probability?
###%### 7 letter expletive? Dratted with 70% probability?
In the end the message reads as translated (don’t blame me I’m just the messenger!)
Crappie mutant scumbag will pay dearly for expense I will devote your worthless refuse/trashy/crummy be a fraud mortal shit your pathetic disguise won’t stop me I know Avatar I will capture you and Shazam you dratted
My filtration linguistics would render this message thusly.
Crappie mutant scumbag you will pay dearly for the expense accounts you racked up in my name. I will devote my resources to proving your worthless refuse/trashy/crummy credit ratings to be a fraud you mortal shit(s). Your pathetic disguise(s) won’t stop me I know your Avatar(s) I will capture you and Shazam you dratted (apparently some warp act of sexual depravity to unmentionable to transcribe.)
+++End of Updated Supplemental Journal+++
+++Personal Journal Update Additional+++
The joy of being a genius is well being a genius. I have cobbled together a unique device that with the aide of ANGUS monitors any psychic communications that are made around persons I deem of interest to my immediate survival. Of course Reximus knows of my endeavors and even pointed out some improvements to my device – truly a man of many talents, a man I hope to emulate in many ways. So I pick up this very timid psychic probe late one night as most of the ship was at rest - a gentle feminine probing began at Reximus.
"Mr Reximus, are you there? Hello Mr Reximus.”
The next was clearly not intended to be part of the message and showed the inept training of the psyker in delivering the message.
“Are sure he will hear me daughter, tis be a strange thing to send my thoughts skyward. Very well. And no you shall not try. Your father has excommunicardo you from all of those sky people, now hush and let me try again.”
Female voice of authority attempts psychic contact.
“Mr Reximus are you there this Lady Le Roche, Rells mother we need tooo arrr communicate.”
“It is not working daughter.... it would seem this all powerful Mr Rex is not awake or does not care to answer..... fine I will find some other way to get a missive to him.”
What was happening at this time to cause such interference? Well I was testing some new equipment that might have had some unintentional on purpose consequences. But in my defense Reximus was multitasking at the time with me as I was bringing him up to speed on not so current affair. Okay so the fleet was conducting ship wide communication diagnostics and running silent for the span of 72 hours and my psychic dampener was probably in effect (okay it was, there you happy, I admit it).
The story continues shortly after an indeterminate period of time.
“Your contact is successful I am sorry Alpharius is distracting me with his pet projects - silly man.”
Reximus’ vox crackled to life.
“Sorry to disturb you Lord. This is Gordon (he’s alive, alive, alive…) sir the pilot stationed at the capital. The pilot who took Lady B to the planet died in a crash landing delivering her for an audience to her father. I am now approaching the ship and requesting docking clearance.”
Reximus psychically contacted the head of the Le Roche family.
“It is time to give Lady B the family heirloom. She is ready.”
The psychic feedback of delight from Lady Le Roche is… sickening (to say the least).
Le Roche has resorted to a different way of revenge. Her envoy is abroad the shuttle that Gordon is preparing to dock with the main ship. She thinks it’s a surprise, silly woman, she forgets the magnitude of a person who has dealt with subterfuge his whole life. Nothing can surprise me, certainly nothing from this primitive backward planet.
Colonel of Battle Control Room: General Kala, Flash Gordon approaching.
Kala: What do you mean 'Flash Gordon approaching'?
Colonel of Battle Control Room: On a Hawkman rocket cycle. Shall I inform His Majesty?
Kala: Imbecile! The Emperor would shoot you for interrupting his wedding with this news! Fire when Gordon's in range!
[Flash is on a Hawkman rocket cycle and escapes]
Kala: He's escaping, idiot! Dispatch war rocket 'Ajax' to bring back his body!
Reximus accessed the vox and gave permission for the vessel to dock.
“Roger that docking bay 4, glad to be back. Those blue people gives me the heebees.”
“Best stir up the captain. Lord Reximus, I have a certain personage in cargo with me, says he will not speak to anyone bar them.”
Reximus is not happy. He was just listening to an incredibly boring presentation from Alpharius while reading and data skimming jacking materials relating to a pretentious pretender called Horus Lupercal. Multitasking is such a simple undertaking for Reximus.
On the mutant home world scandals are the passing norm, tell everyone not to breathe a word on pain of death and within the span of ten heart beats and its insidious intent – good or bad have travelled the globe. Much like Chinese whispers, at each retelling, it gets a little twisted and bent until it does not resemble the original story at all.
Lord Le Roche had decreed to banish his daughter to solitary confinement for her contamination amongst the star people. However word spread that she was with child, and it was in the best interest she return to the planet to ensure a safe birth and continue of the Le Roche line.
+++Encrypted File Security Zeta Tibalt 9-5-8+++
The plan that Lord Le Roche and I had concocted to get Lady B back on planet and out of the hands of the Inquisition had worked like a charm. Lady B was none the wiser (she really is a fool), certainly worse for wear from the punishments she had to wear to fool the Imperium, but it has all worked out in the end. Reximus is pleased with the outcome. This matter is now closed. It also now returns to us an asset that has been languishing on the planet for some time.
Of course the scurrilous few saw it as slander upon the daughter’s good name and are damned if she will be allowed to travel with these so called civilized men from supposedly the home world these people are descended from. No wonder their forefathers fled the world.
The government seeing there had been an arrangement in place with the Imperium needed to make a decision. That required needing a person of importance from the planet to take the lords place that Lady Bell had filled. There was an individual who was available, he had fallen to the planet many years ago and the king’s men found him and brought him back to strength. As token payment the person had pledged his temporary loyalty to crown and country as he had no way to get home and the rest of his kin had died in the crash.
The lander docked with the Inquisitorial ship. Gordon waved cheerily with the dock crew, expressing how happy he was to be free from the mutant scum on the planet below. The cloaked individual exited the lander and was greeted by naval security (heavily armed and armoured) and escorted to Lord Reximus’ quarters. Oddly enoughly I was there in attendance, strange how the universe turns…
Reximus and I looked upon the individual standing before us. A tall lithe person with a natural grace way beyond that of a normal human. Reximus and I looked at each other, both expressing extreme disappointment.
“Not another one we both exclaimed!”
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